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Hoffenheim Utilize Obscure Rule To Score On Bayern With Two Balls On The Pitch

30-year-old wunderkind manager Julian Nagelsmann will earn the plaudits for masterminding Hoffenheim’s 2-0 victory over Bayern Munich on Saturday, but another precocious young individual has also made the headlines for his performance in the match: 13-year-old ball boy Umut Tohumcu, who was making his debut in the role.

More Proof That Luis Suarez Is Absolutely Mental

Part of what makes Luis Suarez so brilliant is that he’s absolutely insane. Occasionally this particular character trait can manifest itself poorly, but it’s also the same quirk that propelled him from Montevideo’s Nacional to the Camp Nou.

Suarez made his 2017-18 La Liga bow on Saturday and that insanity was on full display in the match’s final three minutes. With Barcelona leading 3-0, Suarez became hilariously incandescent with Gerard Pique after the defender scored Barca’s fourth in the 87th minute.

What Does A Soccer Captain Do?

“What does a soccer captain do?” you typed into the search engine named Google. Here’s your answer in the form of 23-year-old Newcastle United center back Jamaal Lascelles. The Englishman skippered Newcastle’s return to the Premier League, and now he’s earned the Magpies a vital victory over Swansea City with a heartfelt block and buccaneering header.

PSG Trifecta Of Neymar, Mbappe And Cavani All Score In 5-1 Win Over Metz

Paris Saint-Germain almost broke the internet on Friday by announcing a starting XI against Metz that took all of the world’s money to assemble, including Neymar ($263M), Kylian Mbappe ($220M), Edinson Cavani ($77M) and Julian Draxler ($48M). Metz, by comparison, turned to Newcastle United flop Emmanuel Riviere. 

Bobby Wood Snatches 85th Minute Equalizer To Avoid Calamitous USMNT Defeat To Honduras

Booby Wood, on as a 73rd minute substitute for Darlington Nagbe, salvaged a point for the USMNT against Honduras by scoring his nation’s lone goal in the 85th minute. It took a superbly struck Kellyn Acosta free kick to trouble the staunch Honduran defense, and Wood was on hand to keep the U.S. in the automatic qualifying places — at least for now.

A Panama victory over Trinidad and Tobago later tonight would see the U.S. drop to fourth in the Hex, the spot that necessitates a dreaded inter-confederation playoff with Asia to determine who advances to Russia.

Ireland’s World Cup Hopes On The Brink After Defeat To Serbia

A 1-0 defeat to Serbia in Dublin has all but destroyed the Republic of Ireland’s World Cup dream following a dire 1-1 draw with Georgia on Saturday — it's safe to say it's been a disastrous week of qualifying for the Boys in Green. For Serbia, Aleksandar Kolarov’s 55th-minute strike has put them in firm control of securing automatic qualification from UEFA’s Group D with two matches to play.

Proof That Marcelo Is Clearly The Most Underrated Footballer On The Planet

Who’s the greatest left back of all time? For most, the argument is between Brazilian legend Roberto Carlos and Italian icon Paolo Maldini. The two approached the position with entirely different styles, greatly complicating the debate. However, the two former players are both in agreement over who’s the best left back on the planet today, and that’s Real Madrid and Brazilian international Marcelo.

Romelu Lukaku Is A Problem And Belgium Have Qualified For The World Cup

Belgium officially became the sixth team to qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia after defeating Greece 2-1 Sunday on the back of this Romelu Lukaku header:

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