Goals

The common refrain throughout the 2018 World Cup from England fans is: It’s coming home. Well, the Three Lions are coming home — empty handed. 

Harry Kane better watch his back. After the Denis Cheryshev goal vs Croatia, Russia’s upstart winger is hot on the heels of England’s penalty kick master.

The final quarterfinal match of the 2018 World Cup saw Croatia take on the host nation in Sochi on Saturday. A fairly even opening half hour saw Croatia take most of the possession but Russia looked dangerous on the counter. 

Zlatan Ibrahimovic used all of his 6-5, 209 pound Swedish frame to open the scoring for Los Angeles against DC United on the Fourth of July, making it 10 goals from 13 games for the striker. The 36-year-old is doing everything in his power to restore LA to prominence in MLS, but the Galaxy aren’t any good.  

Darwin Quintero, Minnesota United’s first-ever Designated Player signing, repaid in full his $1.65 million salary by scoring the club’s maiden hat-trick in Major League Soccer. What’s more, it was the greatest hat-trick in the history of the league. I can say that because I was there — look! Here’s a picture of Michael Bradley suffering in the Fourth of July heat whilst “shielding” his backline (he was awful).

Colombia looked absolutely buried in the 92nd minute of Tuesday's Round of 16 match against England. The Three Lions were only up one, but Colombia looked unable to do anything apart from bitch at American referee Mark Geiger. I had already written a nice little introduction about the blossoming of the Special Relationship on the biggest stage, but then Mateus Uribe forced a corner.

As expected, the Sweden vs. Switzerland match was low scoring and relatively low action, finishing 1-0 for the Blågult. Sweden is through to the quarterfinals for the first time since 1994 thanks to the Emil Forsberg goal vs Switzerland, one he probably celebrated a bit too much given the strike’s quality.