Goals

Zinedine Zidane Plays 5-A-Side With Amateurs, Scores Preposterously Good Goal

Get Zinedine Zidane out on the pitch with normal footballers and it immediately becomes clear that he is not a normal man. The 47-year-old has that je ne sais quoi of a genius, and it's impossible for him to hold back — his every touch is a work of art.

Andrés Iniesta Curls One In From 22 Yards Out For Vissel Kobe

Vissel Kobe defeated Nagoya 5-3 in J1 League play on Sunday thanks to braces from Spanish legends Andrés Iniesta, age 35, and David Villa, 37. Villa opened the scoring with a fine solo goal, and then Iniesta restored Vissel Kobe’s advantage with this sensational long-range effort.

Haiti Knocks Canada Out Of Gold Cup After Miracle Comeback Capped With Wonder Goal

Down 2-0 with only 40 minutes remaining in last night’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal, Haiti produced a barnstorming comeback to knockout Canada 3-2 while clinching a spot in the semifinals for the first time ever. 

The progress that Canada had evidently made under John Herdman had been one of the talking points of the group stage, and there were whispers of the Canucks upsetting the odds to claim their first continental title since 2000.

Megan Rapinoe Gets USWNT Off To Amazing Start With Clever Free Kick

In the most-anticipated quarterfinal match in Women’s World Cup history, the United States struck first.

Megan Rapinoe whipped a wide free kick low toward goal, a cross/shot that somehow eluded everyone and fooled France goalkeeper Sarah Bouhaddi, giving the U.S. a 1-0 lead in the fifth minute.

Wayne Rooney Quote

I thought it was nice and it was special to score the goal. It's something that I've practiced so many times. Different managers and teammates are like, 'Why are you practicing this? You won't score from this position.' But for nights like tonight, that's why I do practice it. It was a good strike and an important goal for us.

Jozy Altidore Scores With A Bicycle Kick, So Suck On That One

Twitter, like Reddit before it, was once a largely satirical, clandestine take on whataboutery — a safe place against the echo chambers of fallacy that invaded popular media sources with the power to turn Mahatma Gandhi into a cynic. In their absurdism, Twitter and Reddit remained far from the trappings of modern media. That’s no longer the case.

Our takes are now dictated by the reactionary, reward-seeking behavior that's seeped into all social platforms, contributing directly to the cacophony of noise that leads to the short-sighted negligence we all, supposedly, abhor.

Wayne Rooney Scores From TOO DAMN FAR

ROOOOONEY. The 33-year-old has done it again. The last time he scored from his own half was for Everton against West Ham back in 2017, but the D.C. United attacker has now accomplished the feat stateside. And from much, much deeper.  

Someone more finely attuned with the dimensions of Audi Field probably has the answer, but I think this one arrived from the White House. 

6 Incredible Moments From 2019 Africa Cup Of Nations That You Might’ve Missed

If you’re an American viewer that can’t get enough of watching soccer on TV, you’ve probably quickly realized this summer that you actually can get enough of it. 

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