Goals

Bayern Munich was on its way to an easy victory over Red Star Belgrade to open Champions League Group B play at the Allianz Arena in Munich on Wednesday. Then it decided to pull out one extra little trick to add a bit of goal difference.

After controlling nearly three-quarters of possession and not allowing Red Star a single shot on goal, Thomas Müller scored in the 91st minute to give Bayern Munich a 3-0 win. 

The Müller goal vs Red Star was totally unnecessary, but it was fun to watch.

An excellent Ángel Di María brace spearheaded PSG to a 3-0 victory over Real Madrid on Wednesday night, giving belief to Parisians that this is finally their year. On the other side of things, Zinedine Zidane’s greatest nightmare came to fruition as he was forced to watch James Rodríguez and Gareth Bale attempt to orchestrate an attack that finished with zero shots on goal.  

Liverpool’s defense of its Champions League crown is off to a shaky start following a 2-0 defeat to Napoli at the Stadio San Paolo in Italy on Tuesday. Liverpool supporters will disagree with the game-changing penalty that Felix Brych awarded Napoli in the 82nd minute, but it certainly wasn’t a vintage performance from the Reds.

Despite missing three games while on World Cup duty with Australia — where she finished with five goals in four games — the Chicago Red Stars’ Sam Kerr is just one goal shy of the NWSL’s single season goalscoring record. Kerr scored against Sky Blue yesterday to bring her total to 16; the record is the 17 she scored as a member of Sky Blue back in 2017. Time is a flat circle.

It was awfully late on a Sunday night, but hopefully you didn’t check out of last night’s LA Galaxy vs. Sporting KC match on FS1 at halftime. At that point, the score was level at 1-1. After an exchange of seven second half goals, it would finish 7-2 in favor of the Galaxy.

Zlatan Ibrahimović registered his third hat-trick for Los Angeles, and in the process, he set a new single season Galaxy record by bringing his total on the year to 26, surpassing a Carlos “El Pescadito” Ruiz record that had stood since 2002. 

Whatever you do, don’t show this to Joe Buck. Yesterday, Guadalajara registered a 1-0 victory over Atlas at Estadio Akron thanks to a 63rd-minute crack from Alexis Vega, who then exposed his crack. The 21-year-old Mexican boofed one from over 25 yards out to keep Chivas in the thick of the liguilla race, and then he fought off a strong desire to strip nude before settling for half-naked.

If I asked you to name the current leading scorer in Euro 2020 qualifying, who would you go with? Harry Kane? Cristiano Ronaldo? Kane is joint-second with six goals and Ronaldo has five to his name, so those aren’t bad guesses, but it's actually Israel’s Eran Zahavi. 

The 32-year-old Zahavi isn’t exactly a household name — at least outside of Israel and China. The only time he's spent playing outside those two countries was a brief spell with Palermo, where he scored only two goals in 23 Serie A appearances. 

Despite his age, Ansu Fati doesn’t need any time to adjust to the highest level.

A 16-year-old forward, Fati became Barcelona’s youngest-ever goal scorer a couple weeks ago. He received his first start at home against Valencia on Saturday and took no time proving he belongs on one of the best teams in the world.

Fati scored in the second minute and added an assist five minutes later in a mindboggling opening to his first career start.

Neymar returned to PSG for the first time this season on Saturday after a long injury layoff and nearly endless transfer drama. The Parisian fans jeered him relentlessly and viciously, angry he tried to leave. The response was an unbelievable Neymar bicycle kick in the 92nd minute to give PSG a 1-0 win over Strasbourg.

Paco Alcácer has fit in quite nicely at Borussia Dortmund since leaving Barcelona. The Spanish striker has scored 27 goals in 37 games and found his way back to the Spanish national team with his performances.

But Alcácer has brought more than just goals to Dortmund (though he’s brought plenty of those); he’s brought an unselfish mentality for a striker that fits perfectly into BVB coach Lucien Favre’s style of play.