Goals

Cristiano Ronaldo haters love to rag on the Portuguese star because he scores so many penalty kicks, giving him the derogatory moniker Penaldo. Ronaldo does convert more PKs than, say, Lionel Messi, but you can’t fault the man’s prowess from 12 yards out. On Thursday, the Juventus winger fully deserved the penalty he won for a dramatic late equalizer. 

Cristiano Ronaldo turned 35 on Wednesday. On Saturday he was back banging in goals for Juventus, setting a club record in the process.

By all accounts, Ronaldo had a lovely 35th birthday. He started the day off with two of his favorite things: training and self-congratulations.

Welcome back to Germany, Emre Can.

In his first Bundesliga match with Borussia Dortmund, six years removed from his last appearance in the German league, Emre Can reminded his home country what he’s capable of on Saturday.

Playing against his former club Bayer Leverkusen, Can launched a glorious long-range curling effort to score one of the best strikes of 2020. However, the home side at BayArena scored two late goals to record a wild 4-3 win over Dortmund. 

Somewhat lost in the hubbub of Erling Håland arriving at Borussia Dortmund has been the professional debut of 17-year-old American Giovanni Reyna. That’s understandable considering Håland seemingly scores once every 30 seconds. 

Wayne Rooney has found his shooting boots less than a month into his stint as Derby County player-coach.

Rooney left D.C. United for the EFL Championship (England’s second division) after the 2019 MLS season, though he couldn’t play for his new club until the opening of the January transfer window.

There’s been a lot of talk recently about how Jurgen Klopp and the Liverpool first team aren’t even going to bother showing up for the FA Cup replay against Shrewsbury Town, instead sending its U-23 squad and coach. After all, when the Reds made a similar (albeit more necessary) move in the Carabao Cup, they were smashed 5-0 by Aston Villa.

There’s a phrase for basketball players with prodigious 3-point shooting ability that says they’re within range as soon as they enter the arena. We may need to coopt that expression for soccer after this insane Florian Neuhaus goal vs Mainz on Saturday.

Borussia Monchengladbach maintained its spot in the top three of the Bundesliga with a 3-1 win over Mainz. Alassane Pléa scored two goals after Robin Quaison opened the scoring for the visitors, but we only care about the Neuhaus goal scored in the 88th minute.