Funny

Visionary Swiss Fans Protest eSports And The Rise Of Killer Machines

I don’t know how we got here.

I mean, there’s no denying the popularity of eSports games like Overwatch, Dota 2 and League of Legends, but a Swiss league match between Young Boys and FC Basel was halted in the 16th minute yesterday while fans threw tennis balls onto the pitch, a PS4 controller (damn, that’s like $50) and unfurled massive banners in protest of eSports . . . things have escalated so quickly.

Patrice Evra Explains Why He Once Took A Massive Dump In Gerard Pique’s Shoes

It’s the headline you did not expect today: Patrice Evra once defecated in Gerard Pique’s shoes at Manchester United. The reason for it, however, is totally understandable. 

According to Spanish daily sports paper Diario AS, Evra once waited months for a pair of boots from Nike that had the names of his kids and other details on them. When Evra finally received them, Pique went to the showers, made a small bonfire and burned them. Nice one, Pique.

Is This The Worst Flop Ever Or A Terrible Case Of The Sunday Scaries?

I wasn’t at today’s Eredivisie match between Feyenoord and Utrecht at De Kuip (my boss won’t send me to Rotterdam), but I have a pretty good idea of how this scene between the home side’s Steven Berghuis and Utrecht captain Willem Janssen played out. It’s the ultimate enactment of the Sunday Scaries. 

Impossibly Bad Sequence Ends With Worst Goal Line Clearance In Footy History

Has there ever been a worse demonstration of goalkeeping in professional football without a goal being conceded? If Loris Karius had the luck of this dude, he would’ve kept a clean sheet in the Champions League final. First things first: what the hell is the keeper thinking with regards to the initial flight of the corner? Where is he going? Why is he spinning in a circle and then running out of bounds? 

This German Announcer Could Not Be Less Enthusiastic About A Late Match Winner

The weekend is finally here and we’ve got league football all around the globe. It may not be as exciting as everything we saw in the Champions League (or even the Europa League) this week, but it’s still enough to keep you awake. 

Or maybe not — at least for this German announcer.

This Horror Miss Is A Wonderful Slow Burn, Like That One Really Good Movie

Horror movies are great, but horror movies have a general massive flaw: Once the cat’s out of the bag, they can transform into an hour-long slog of scream-filled monotony. But a proper slow burner, that’s where the true power of the genre lies.

I’m talking The Witch, AMC’s The Terror, Let the Right One In, Hereditary … where the suspense and a general feeling of unease gradually reverberate through your system before THE HORROR OF IT ALL is revealed.

Only In Amsterdam: Ajax Scores Immediately After Bob Marley’s Son Serenades Stadium At Halftime

Ajax struggled to break down AEK Athens in the first half of their Champions League opener on Wednesday in Amsterdam.

Then some Bob Marley made everything feel alright en route to a 3-0 win for the home team. 

Ky-Mani Marley, son of the legendary singer Bob Marley, took to the pitch at halftime to get the crowd going. He sang "Three Little Birds" — with the crowd singing along — and the scenes were fabulous.

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