Fights

The Second City Derby between Birmingham rivals Aston Villa and Birmingham City was decided by a 67th-minute goal from Villa captain Jack Grealish, who’d earlier been punched in the back of the head by a pitch invader.

In the match’s ninth minute, with the ball in the Birmingham end, a City fan could be seen entering the pitch near the corner flag and hightailing it towards an unsuspecting Grealish.

After landing a punch, he was immediately apprehended and led away by police while blowing kisses to the crowd.  

Last Sunday, an indoor soccer match between Rockford, Illinois-based San Jose FC and FC Wisconsin U-19 descended into madness in Brookfield, Wisconsin, when a skirmish ultimately resulted in a referee getting punched in the face.

The referee, 50-year-old Terry From, approached a boy who’d thrown a water bottle in his direction, identified as the 12-year-old son of San Jose FC’s coach, before being punched by a 17-year-old San Jose FC player, identified as the older brother of the 12-year-old. 

As Manchester United wildly celebrated two ludicrously self-inflicted PSG errors and a contentious, VAR-influenced handball decision to advance to the last eight of Europe (we won’t begrudge Red Devil supporters after the life and times of David Moyes, LVG and Jose Mourinho, but if you thought Liverpool fans were getting annoying with the EPL title at hand, this is a stern reminder that United’s fanbase is built of the exact same stuff), PSG was left to rue another night of historical ineptitude. 

We got 10 years of Pepe at Real Madrid, and if time weren’t such a cruel mistress, we could’ve been blessed with 10 more. I, for one, would welcome an eternal version of Pepe, a timeless incarnation of shithousery that doesn’t care about VAR now being a thing — a mad lad with his face cast in an eternal scowl, eyebrows bulging cartoonishly from his skull and always looking for fingers to stomp on and fouls suffered to greatly exaggerate. 

Merseyside rivals Everton dealt Liverpool’s Premier League title aspirations a heavy blow on Sunday by frustrating the Reds time after time during a 0-0 stalemate at Goodison Park. 

There are still nine matches remaining in the season, but the draw has handed control back to Manchester City in the title race. The Citizens now have a one-point advantage and control their own destiny. They’ve also won five straight league games, certainly an ominous harbinger for a Liverpool side that’s won only two of its last six. 

During a match between Altos and River in Brazil’s Campeonato Piauiense, the league of the state of Piauí, Altos’ Humberto was clocked by River’s Biro Biro with a high boot to the face.

Thankfully, medical tests ruled out a fracture, but Humberto did suffer a concussion and is still under observation following Sunday’s incident. The Brazilian midfielder says he has no recollection of the event itself, but he returned to the pitch after the match looking like Quasimodo.  

In prospect, it was a great plan: Get up early, start with Manchester United versus Liverpool in a momentous, top four Premier League clash, and then seamlessly move on to the League Cup final between defending champions Manchester City and crisis-hit Chelsea.

There goes five hours of our day, and we didn’t get a goal to show for it.

Last Saturday, Sporting Cristal defeated Sport Huancayo 2-0 in the Peruvian Primera División, but the game was marred by some Stephen King tomfoolery in the 39th minute.

With Cristal already leading 1-0, the club’s striker, Emanuel Herrera, chased a long ball over the top while clashing with Huancayo defender Luis Maldonado. Luckily for us, we’re also simultaneously treated to a classic moment in South American football: there’s a good boy flying down the wing in hot pursuit of the action. 

With Rangers drawing 0-0 with St. Johnstone on Saturday, Celtic took to the pitch Sunday knowing that a victory over Kilmarnock would open up an eight-point gap at the top of the Scottish Premiership with only seven matches remaining before the league splits into two sections for the final five games. 

Accordingly, it was a furious game at Kilmarnock’s Rugby Park which saw two players sent off. First, Kilmarnock’s Kirk Broadfoot was sent off in the 75th minute for a late challenge on Scott Brown.