Fails

Arsenal’s Howler-Induced Defeat Fitting End To Week After Shitshow At The Emirates

No, you were not seeing things as Fabian Delph made a rare Premier League appearance while wearing the wrong socks, but it was hardly the most bizarre sight on Friday at the Emirates. Everton handed the Gunners a 1-0 defeat as keeper Bernd Leno committed the exact type of embarrassing own goal the Arsenal owners committed earlier in the week.

A week that began with Arsenal joining 11 much better clubs to try to create a Super League ended with massive protests outside Emirates Stadium calling for an end to Stan Kroenke’s ownership and yet another ignominious defeat on the pitch.

For All His Talents, Ronaldo Is The Game’s Worst Free Kick Defender

Does Cristiano Ronaldo suffer from sfairesphobia (the fear of balls or spherical objects)? That would explain why he’s so quick to get the football off his foot and into the back of the net, as well as why he’s the worst defender in a wall since the Trojans. 

Super League Collapses In Rare Triumph Of Fans Over Greed

MANCHESTER, England — The European Super League collapsed on Wednesday as eight of the 12 founding members from England, Italy and Spain abandoned the breakaway project under massive pressure from fans, politicians, soccer officials and even the British royals.

Founder and Juventus chairman Andrea Agnelli told Reuters he was reluctantly calling time on the new league after six English clubs withdrew on Tuesday, with Inter Milan and Atletico Madrid following suit and AC Milan indicating they would too.

Hasta Nunca: La Superliga Se Cae A Pedazos

Todo proyecto en PowerPoint, basado en números y proyecciones que no consideran la voz de la calle merece una muerte lenta y humillante. Más aún si esa idea está solo destinada a engordar los obesos bolsillos de los súper ricos. Por lo mismo, es imposible esconder la sensación de placer al ver cómo comienza a colapsar la idea de la Superliga de Europa.

Chris Wondolowski Opens His 17th MLS Season With Another Devastating Miss

Chris Wondolowski is the greatest goal scorer in MLS history, and he likely will be for some time. But while his finishing ability in the box in unparalleled, so too is his country’s desire to scapegoat him for that one miss against Belgium at the 2014 World Cup. So it’s impossible to ignore another incredible Wondo miss, made in the first game of his 17th MLS campaign on Friday night.

United’s Bizarre Offside Trap Vs. Liverpool In 1980 Was Hilariously Ineffective

The offside trap is a rarity in professional soccer these days. While youth soccer in the U.S. employs this strategy all the time, it’s rarely seen at the highest level.

The last time an offside trap was used on a big stage and worked correctly was when Japan caught nearly all of Senegal’s team napping in the 2018 World Cup.

Ronaldo Reaches 103 International Goals, But It Looks Like No. 104 Might Be Cursed

LUXEMBOURG - Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo scored his first goal of the 2022 World Cup qualifying campaign but then missed a sitter as the visitors came from behind to beat Luxembourg 3-1 on Tuesday.

The hosts went into the match full of confidence after winning 1-0 away to Ireland and took a shock lead against the European champions when Portuguese-born Gerson Rodrigues glanced in a header on the half-hour for his second goal in two games.

Mongolia Keeper Records 11 Saves Against Japan, Still Loses 14-0

Waking up and looking at Tuesday’s schedule of international football, I couldn’t help but notice the final score of one match that had already finished out in Chiba, Japan. The Japan national team had put up two touchdowns — a fortnight of scoring — on Mongolia in World Cup qualifying. 

The 14-0 win isn’t the biggest in Japan’s history (15-0 over the Philippines in 1967), nor was it the biggest defeat in 190th-ranked Mongolia’s (15-0 to Uzbekistan in 1998). 

Juventus Suffers Embarrassing Loss To Benevento After Arthur Throws It All Away

Benevento dented Juventus' Serie A title hopes on Sunday when Adolfo Gaich’s second-half strike sealed a shock 1-0 victory in Turin and ended the relegation battlers’ 11-match winless run.

The Argentine pounced on a careless pass from Juve midfielder Arthur Melo to fire in the decisive goal after 69 minutes, and the toothless hosts failed to find a way past goalkeeper Lorenzo Montipò.

8 Footballers Who Made A Career Out Of Failing Upwards

Sometimes I wish that, through some glaring administrative error, I had been accidentally registered for the Ajax youth academy, even if it was just for one day. Then, in semi-good conscience, I could exploit that fact to have my own Wikipedia page, Transfermarkt profile and agent, allowing me to bounce around the world on one-year contracts — obviously being found out as total trash time after time — living my best life. 

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