Europe

Cristiano Ronaldo Joins Lionel Messi As The Only Players To Score 300+ In La Liga

A two-goal performance from Cristiano Ronaldo saw Real Madrid defeat Getafe in La Liga play Saturday, and the Portuguese star recorded another remarkable individual achievement with goals number 300 and 301 in Spanish league play, putting him alongside Barcelona star Lionel Messi as the only members of the milestone club.

Real moved four points above Valencia in third place, and manager Zinedine Zidane will be pleased to have had both Ronaldo and Gareth Bale on the scoresheet before Tuesday’s trip to Paris to play a Neymar-less PSG.

U.S. Youth International Tim Weah Makes His Senior Debut For PSG

Timothy Weah, the son of former Ballon d’Or winner George Weah, made his senior debut for Paris Saint-Germain on Saturday, coming on as a 79th minute substitute in the club’s victory over Troyes in Ligue 1 play. Timothy just celebrated his 18th birthday on Feb. 22, and the native of New York City almost snatched a goal on his first appearance.

Porto Medical Staff Sent Off After Hilarious Confrontation With Fábio Coentrão

The FC Porto vs Sporting Lisbon match finished 2-1 in favor of the host Dragons, who won despite a howler from Iker Casillas. But more so than the three goals that were scored, the highlight of the match came from Porto’s medical staff in the 60th minute.

Porto scored an important win over Sporting thanks to goals from Iván Marcano and Yacine Brahimi. The Dragons are now eight points clear of Sporting and Benfica atop the Liga Nos standings, though Benfica has a game in hand. 

Marcano opened the scoring in the 28th minute with a header following a corner kick. 

Apparently You Are Not Allowed To Fly An Airplane Over Messi's House

The president of a small Spanish airline has intimated that expansion of the Barcelona airport is not possible because planes are not allowed to fly over Lionel Messi's house. Vueling President Javier Sanchez-Prieto said a new terminal could not be built because of restrictions on planes flying near where the Barcelona star lives.

From Marca:

Fernandão Suspended 2 Games For Key & Peele-Esque Celebration

Fernandão is a Brazilian striker for Fenerbahçe in Turkey. We’re not sure if he watches American television, but my guess is if he’s seen Key & Peele he’ll be arguing his case like a young Hingle McCringleberry. The Fernandão celebration during a match against Beşiktaş on Sunday resulted in a two-match suspension and $15,900 fine, handed down on Thursday.

Lionel Messi Rifles A 20-Yard Free Kick Straight Into The Top-Left Corner

After hitting a Ronaldinho-esque free kick in Barcelona’s 6-1 victory over Girona last Saturday, Lionel Messi scored his fourth direct free kick of the La Liga season to give his side an early 1-0 lead over Las Palmas on Thursday.

Messi’s rocket from 20 yards out — a free kick he earned himself after a spectacular run at the heart of the Las Palmas defense — flew into the top corner, leaving Las Palmas goalkeeper Leandro Chichizola fanning at air.

Lazio Defender Patric Has A Skull Made Of Iron

Even though Lazio obliterated Steaua Bucharest on Thursday on their way to the Europa League round of 16, no person in his or her right mind would contend that Lazio defender Patric had a good time.

Patric, a product of La Masia in his first season with Lazio, is probably wishing he was back in Spain. If he can even remember being back in Spain.

Devastating Napoli Counter Shows Why They’re Everyone’s Second-Favorite Team

With all due respect to Juventus supporters, as exciting as it would be to watch you lift your seventh straight Scudetto, the entire planet is behind Napoli’s push for their first title since 1990, when Diego Maradona lifted the Neapolitan club to glory. On Monday, we were given further evidence as to why Napoli is essentially In-N-Out Burger when comparing football clubs to restaurant chains (hell, there’s even a Neapolitan shake on The Secret Menu).

Luis Suarez Attempts To Rig Yellow Card Suspension, Ref Hilariously Refuses To Book Him

Here’s a five-day period so Luis Suarez that even Luis Suarez would call it cliché. Last Tuesday, the Uruguayan striker was booked in the 76th minute of Barcelona’s 1-1 draw with Chelsea. Suarez was given the yellow directly after Lionel Messi’s equalizer for berating the linesman.

Further Proof That Ricardo Quaresma Is King Of The Trivela

If you ever grow tired of the “Who’s the best player in the world?” debate or weary of solving for “Who’s the best goalkeeper?” just know that there’s a much more refined, much classier discourse you can join regarding “Who has the best outside-of-the-boot (trivela in Portuguese) technique, Besiktas winger Ricardo Quaresma or Real Madrid midfielder Luka Modric?

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