Europe

Lionel Messi Just Absolutely Laced One With His Right Foot From Long Range

Preseason results don’t matter, especially so when you’re FC Barcelona playing against third- and second- division sides, but Barça has followed up Saturday’s 3-1 win over Gimnàstic with a 3-1 victory over Girona on Wednesday.

Man With Most Infectious Smile In The Prem Signs Massive Contract Extension

Arsenal striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has signed a new three-year deal, the Premier League club said on Tuesday, ending speculation over a potential exit as he entered the final year of his contract.

Aubameyang's decision to stay with Arsenal will be a major boost to manager Mikel Arteta who said he wanted to build the squad around the Gabon international after they won the FA Cup last month.

Pissed Hamburg Player Jumps Into Stands To Fight Opposing Fan After Losing 4-1

Hamburg defender Toni Leistner went full Eric Dier and then some with a Dynamo Dresden fan after his team was knocked out in the first round of the DFB-Pokal on Monday. Dresden was relegated from the 2. Bundesliga last season but got revenge with a shocking 4-1 upset of Hamburg. 

It’s not entirely clear what happened, but the Dresden fan must have said/done something to cause Leistner to jump into the stands and let him have it.

17-Year-Old American Gio Reyna Scores His Second Goal For Borussia Dortmund

Borussia Dortmund’s 2020-21 campaign began in earnest today with a DFB-Pokal first round match against third division side MSV Duisburg. Dortmund fielded a strong starting 11, but there was also room for a pair of teenagers in Giovanni Reyna and Jude Bellingham (both 17).

Dortmund got things started in the 14th-minute with Jadon Sancho converting from the penalty spot, and then Bellingham marked his competitive Dortmund debut with a goal following an excellent backheel from Thorgan Hazard.

Le Classique Ends With 5 Red Cards And PSG In The Relegation Zone

Between August 12 and 23 in Lisbon, Portugal, Paris Saint-Germain changed the narrative surrounding the club by advancing to the Champions League final and performing admirably against Bayern Munich.

In the space of four days coinciding with the club’s start to the 2020-21 season, you could say that PSG has reverted to an even lesser version of its old self.

Irvin Cardona Walks On Air While Smashing A Gravity-Defying Volley

Brest defeated Dijon 2-0 in Ligue 1 action on Sunday after Romain Perraud opened the scoring in the 42nd minute before Irvin Cardona added the insurance goal in the fifth-minute of second half stoppage time.

“Insurance goal” is one way to frame it. Another is a gravity-defying piece of exceptionalism that only belongs in the Shaolin Soccer film. 

Weston McKennie Makes Juventus Debut, Combines Nicely With Cristiano Ronaldo

Ahead of opening its Serie A campaign next weekend, Juventus played a friendly against third division side Novara at the club’s training center on Sunday morning. As the first friendly of preseason, the match served as a debut for 22-year-old American Weston McKennie following his year-long loan to the club from Schalke.

USMNT RB Reggie Cannon Celebrates European Debut With Sneaky Goal

Reggie Cannon completed a $3 million transfer from FC Dallas to Boavista in Portugal on Wednesday. The 22-year-old USMNT fullback participated in his first Boavista training session on Thursday. He made his debut for the Porto-based club in a friendly on Saturday. 

Cannon scored 21 minutes into his debut. Not a bad week.

St. Louis City SC On Alert: Messi Just Signed A 3-Year Deal With Budweiser

For those that like to pretend that Lionel Messi is anything but the definition of loyal (see: marriage to childhood sweetheart Antonela Roccuzzo, 138 international appearances spent dragging a woefully unbalanced Argentina to the precipice of glory and 19 years in Barcelona), the Argentine’s latest endorsement deal with Budweiser showcases just how little he cares about your personal quest for social media recognition. 

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