England

Mark Hamill Now Has A Very Strange Relationship With Wolverhampton Wanderers

Actor Mark Hamill is primarily famous for playing the main role in one of the most popular epics in entertainment history: the quest to find out which football club actor Mark Hamill supports.

Let's take a journey on Twitter: 

Mark Hamill is actually famous for playing Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. As such, he has a lot of followers on Twitter, some of whom noticed Hamill has a habit of liking tweets involving Wolves. 

What Does A Soccer Captain Do?

“What does a soccer captain do?” you typed into the search engine named Google. Here’s your answer in the form of 23-year-old Newcastle United center back Jamaal Lascelles. The Englishman skippered Newcastle’s return to the Premier League, and now he’s earned the Magpies a vital victory over Swansea City with a heartfelt block and buccaneering header.

The EPL Transfer Window Will Close Earlier Next Year, But There Will Still Be Plenty Of Shenanigans

The EPL transfer deadline will be moved up next season to before the start of the season, in an attempt to curb the silliness of players angling for moves while playing actual soccer games against teams they might be sold to.

Those of you who revel in the insanity of the transfer deadline need not fret, though. Next summer's transfer window will still be dumb as hell.

FIFA Opens Disciplinary Proceedings Against Dele Alli Over Bronx Salute

FIFA, the organization whose scandalous bidding processes for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups revealed rampant institutional corruption, has opened disciplinary proceedings against England’s Dele Alli for his obscene gesture on Monday.

Alexis Sanchez Is Fat And Tens Of Thousands Want Him To Split Up With His Girlfriend

Alexis Sanchez is fat and content because he’s got a hot new GF and that’s why Arsenal and Chile can’t win. At least, that’s what tens of thousands of fans are saying ahead of a planned march in Santiago to break up Alexis and his girlfriend Mayte Rodriguez. 

Face It, Liverpool Fans: Dejan Lovren Is Never Going Away

Dejan Lovren is like a haunted doll. No matter how hard you try to get rid of him, he always finds a way to stay put. During Liverpool's last two summers, a main goal has been to replace Lovren in the starting lineup. Lovren is still in the starting lineup. Next summer they will try to replace him again, but will fail somehow. Dejan Lovren will keep his job.

Tottenham's New Retractable Pitch Latest In Long Line Of Cool Stadium Features

As more and more money is spent on football, stadiums become more and more complex. Tottenham Hotspurs' new venue will be the latest in a long line of transforming soccer stadiums, as the club showed off in a video on Thursday.

Tottenham wants its new stadium to be the go-to venue for NFL games played in London. The designers of the stadium have come up with a way to maintain a Premier League-quality grass surface while still supporting American football games.

The Worst 12-Second Display Of Goalkeeping In The History Of The Game

According to researchers from the Georgia Institute of Technology, all mammals take an average of 12 seconds to poop. Regardless of the size of the rectum, be it an elephant’s sphincter or a cat’s, that s**t is riding a wave of mucus like “a sled sliding down a chute” and out in no time flat. Unless it’s diarrhea — that confounds all mathematical models.

Wayne Shaw Suspended, Fined For Eating Pie vs. Arsenal

Wayne Shaw is an overweight man in his mid 40s who likes to eat pies. We are all Wayne Shaw. 

Sadly for overweight pie eaters everywhere, Shaw was fined and banned for two months from doing a job he was fired from eight months ago — all for eating pie. 

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