Christian Pulisic

The United States hadn’t lost in 14 matches since November. Then Costa Rica put a New Jersey beat down on the Yanks at Red Bull Arena, winning 2-0 in CONCACAF World Cup qualifying on Friday evening.

Costa Rica pressed, harassed and fought its way to a deserved win that all but assures Los Ticos a spot in next summer’s World Cup. The USMNT played like they did when they got Jurgen Klinsmann fired in November. 

Without a goal or an assist in Borussia Dortmund’s 2-0 win over Hertha Berlin on Saturday, Christian Pulisic mania wasn’t allowed to grip the nation. But a “quiet” week from the 18-year-old also allows us to dissect his performance in a more serious manner. 

What the analysis reveals should obviously already be clear, but let’s just belabor the point: Pulisic isn’t a gimmick. He’s not the fevered creation of a nation starved of a world-class talent. He’s actually just really, really good.

Can you hear it? Playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again? It’s the Champions League anthem. The best thing to happen to Tuesdays and Wednesdays since Frasier went off air is nearly back. 

Thursday marked the Champions League group stage draw in Monaco but we know you only care about two things, so let’s get them out of the way.

Qarabag was drawn into Group C and Christian Pulisic is in Group H, with two more matches against Real Madrid in store, not to mention a date at Wembley. 

Guys, I think the Christian Pulisic secret is out. America's Great Hope scored a goal and collected an assist this weekend in Borussia Dortmund's 3-0 win over Wolfsburg, which was good enough to earn the 18-year-old Man of the Matchday honors for matchday one in the Bundesliga.

Pulisic is going to be hard for the rest of the world to ignore after scoring this:

Christian Pulisic may be The Truth, but someone needs to tell him the truth about his goal celebration. We can’t figure out what the hell he’s doing. Maybe someone else can, but we can't.

Before you get bent out of shape and start screaming at us, accusing us of being un-American, hold your horses. We know Christian Pulisic is great. We're with you. He's certainly one of the top American soccer players of all time. There's a chance he's the best American ever. Like, better than Abe Lincoln. Seriously, we feel you, @FearTheWall.

For those of you wondering whether or not Christian Pulisic is rational and capable of completing basic mental exercises, an unnamed ESPN FC source has confirmed that in about 365 days, Pulisic will have been provided with an additional 365 days of experience from which to reminisce and reflect on, and he will do that.