Barcelona

When Neymar first burst onto the world stage, he was only 18. So we gave him a pass for his actions, assuming he would grow up and stop flopping and starting fights as he got older. 

However it seems that he might never grow up, as, despite playing internationally for six years now, he is still apparently doing things like this:

Neymar pushes Granada's player down the stairs while approaching tunnel. pic.twitter.com/DjQWR8yYms

Walt Disney used his considerable imagination to dream up things like Mickey Mouse, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Disney World, but he could never have conceived a little magician using sorcery to control objects and unleash all manner of hell on an unsuspecting public. Oh, right — that’s in Fantasia.

Anyway, he could’ve never told the story of an undersized scruff who went to extreme lengths to prove himself while remaining brave and unselfish in the face of never ending obstacles. Dammit, that’s Pinocchio, isn’t it?

In order to talk smack, don’t you have to back it up? Goalkeeper Diego Alves failed to do so on Saturday in Valencia’s last-second loss to Barcelona:

When it comes to penalties, Diego Lopez is one of the best. Of the last 35 penalties he's faced, Alves has saved a staggering 17 of them; so he has good reason to be a little cocky. Two years ago, he even smack talked Cristiano Ronaldo before saving his penalty to end their title run.

France Football announced the 30 finalists for the 2016 Ballon d’Or award with Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi the favorites to take home the award they’ve entirely dominated since Kaka won in 2007. Real Madrid have six nominees on the list, Barcelona have four and Leicester City’s dream season has resulted in nominations for Riyad Mahrez and Jamie Vardy.

Lionel Messi helped Barcelona defeat Valencia at La Mestalla on Saturday, as he cooly converted a 94th minute penalty to give Barca the 3-2 win. He also happened to lose his damn mind after Valencia fans struck Neymar with a bottle.

The match was tied at 2-2 as the minutes bled away, and it seemed destined to end as a draw. Thankfully for Barcelona, Valencia defender Aymen Abdennour was in a charitable sort of mood as he hacked down Luis Suarez in the 92nd minute to concede a penalty.

Seriously, who really thinks Pep Guardiola is deserving of criticism? Though confident going into their achampions League clash with Barcelona, who really expected the Citizens to win away at Camp Nou when they went down to ten men? 

Though he is seemingly constantly criticized, Guardiola has constantly put up result after result throughout his career, and expressed that to reporters:

Pep's response to criticism of his style of play: "I've won 21 trophies in 7 years. Sorry, guys."

Barcelona fans, it's going to be OK. Neymar signed a new contract, keeping him (theoretically) in blue and red at least until 2021, or until Manchester United prepare that mega-bid we;ve all been hearing so much about.