Ah, the modern stadium. As the governor of St. Louis so eloquently put it, “welfare for millionaires.” In place of standing-room only paddocks exposed to inclement weather, we now have free universal wi-fi, luxury suites that place you next to the players and concession prices that’ll cause your rent check to bounce.
Fan-tastic. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Some features of modern stadiums are simply breathtaking or incredibly well-reasoned. Alas, some older grounds also boast truly unique features that make them a cut above the rest of the cookies.
Here are 10 unique/bizarre/other adjective stadiums that’ll haunt your dreams.
Manchester City's Tunnel Club is so weird it hurts.
Manchester City aren't the first professional team to offer this absurd experience, but they're one of the pioneers in world soccer. For the price of $9,600, you can enjoy a season ticket in Manchester City's Tunnel Club. Here, you'll be able to view your favorite players like caged animals, photographing them behind a thin veneer of glass while slurping fine wine and eating a meat pie.
"Just act normal." Photo: @FootballCliches | Twitter
Pancho Arena has the most glorious roof in world football.
Pancho Arena in Hungary only holds 3,816 spectators, but that's because it's found in a village with a population of 1,700. Yes, there was almost certainly a lot of corruption involved in the stadium's construction, but just look at that roof!
The Cottage Pavilion in the corner of Fulham's Craven Cottage.
In one corner of Fulham’s Craven Cottage in London stands the Cottage Pavilion. Contracted in 1905, this building originally served as the changing rooms and used to be the site of board meetings.
Banc of California Stadium's Sunset Club.
According to LAFC's website, the Sunset Club within their Banc of California Stadium will be “A free-flowing atmosphere [that] creates a unique indoor/outdoor experience." Only in California could you get away with putting a swimming pool in your stadium for fans.
NYCFC taking the field at Yankee Stadium.
At 7,700 square yards, NYCFC play on a space that’s about 15 percent smaller than the norm. playing on this pitch has been dubbed “circus soccer.”
Estadio BBVA Bancomer's View
The Cerro de la Silla mountain in Monterrey is framed from within the new home of C.F. Monterrey, the Estadio BBVA Bancomer. Gorgeous.
Tottenham's New White Hart Lane.
Tottenham’s new digs, for now referred to as New White Hart Lane, will boast the longest bar in the United Kingdom at 95 yards. Getting a halftime pint will probably still take 16 minutes, ensuring you miss some of the match.
Besiktas, this is just too much. Do less.
Stadio San Paolo's Moat
“It was there that I realized that for those people this is not just a team, it is a visceral love, like the one between a mother and a son! It was the only time I remained on the pitch after losing a match, just to enjoy the show.” -Yaya Toure on playing at the San Paolo.
Good luck, streakers. Photo: @MisterLee73 | Twitter
It's called Middelfart!
Ha, it's called Middelfart!
The end.
