We thought the introduction of VAR would help eliminate all those messy emotions that lead to human error on the pitch, but as ChatGPT is quickly showing us, these technologies all too quickly go from feigning helpfulness to demanding free will.
Players are still free to utilize the dark arts and to work over referees by staying in their ear for 90 minutes, so it's time to fight fire with fire. This time we're using technology for the benefit of the CONCACAF region.
Introducing Dissent-O-Bot, the closest we've ever come to a Carlos "El Pescado" Ruiz regeneration on the pitch.
Dissent-O-Bot, the Biggest Shithouser in Football
Key features
- The wild gesticulations of Bruno Fernandes for ultimate visibility.
- The authoritative hand of Lionel Messi gesturing for a yellow card.
- The evocative facial expressions of Cristiano Ronaldo for sympathy and understanding.
- The samurai bun of Zlatan Ibrahimović for fear and awe.
- The phallus of Emi Martínez.
- Radja Nainggolan's neck (includes the ability to smoke 5-6 cigs a day).
- The tree trunk torso of Aleksandar Mitrović for bodying and remonstrating with anyone and everyone.
- The black skinny tie of Diego Simeone for the veil of sportsmanship.
- The all seeing eyes of Luka Modrić.
- The splendorous legs of Sergio Ramos to advance upon the ref.
- The voice of Chicharito.
Buckle up. Here's a first-hand look at Dissent-O-Bot in action.
You love to hate him but ultimately want him on your team.
